Love Of My Life

cholestrol 6, pressure 145/110, sugar 6.2........... damnation.. i am so angry ..i can't loose him.... i already lost the most important man in my life when i was 18 i can't loose my man again....Ya Allah what can i do..... my response was mean mean n mean ..... i can not forgive him for being sick....sick mean illness which spells death...i am loosing it.... i rather ran away from him that see him sick n eventually taken away from me.... these thoughts is killling me...i have not done anything this week...practically zero...next week i have to present my phd progress.... i just wanna sleep n watch astro.... and try not to think abt loosing him ..... he is more important to me than any other living soul..... this attachment to him is surreal... might not even be healthy....i can not say anymore.... my heart is beating fast while i am typing this ....loosing him...means the End of Me...